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Onward to Jupiter

by Half Face

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1.
Aleph Null Bounds 04:46
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Free from my natural bounds I construct sounds Feel the groove in you and learn to scream out loud It’s hard to learn how to be fun and complex yet proud I got the will to behave and live and misbehave and start a war Gödel told me my efforts were fruitless, but I still want more I got the mind of enigma, the soul of a whore Let's do it again, infinite recursion A closed mind trying so hard to unfurl Stopped by goddesses of hearts infinite Whose eyes open up the world All but the Achilles heel Woken up by words of steel I tear up my heart because it’s shit Start over again, feels so surreal Ready? Destroy. Get up? All right. Here comes a thought Create a lie Some time to think, let all the things I've learned marinate You know you gotta appreciate the wait To transcendence above all and to all a good night Your heart is a gun, your lungs an itchy trigger finger I'm so tired bout giving a fuck that I forget about everything else out there Trees so mechanical they seem so scared of themselves We lie so that we may dance But I have decided to cross this bridge To no man’s land What I find is shocking and limitless But I disintegrate so fast I think logic is all I need right now And a hand that I can grasp Cardinality Unknown The infinity I disown Devolves into a moan So primal Remember who I am inside Recover some semblance of pride And maybe another time I’ll try again You say I don’t love you You know I do My heart’s still evolving My blood’s still blue You say I don’t love you You know I do My love’s so misguided It feels so new
2.
6 04:07
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Post post modernest introspection I am only what I put into everything else To lose hope is to die, to lose love is to starve But you and I are unbreakable cells To deconstruct the deconstruction I fear the cliche, so I make more Fear’s comfort is that I thrive for myself If God exists my existence is meaningless Reduce the world to a number Lusting after perfect eternal fire Is there something missing or too much inside? Too late have I decided that my feelings are dire Lover wires tying my hands and my mind Expressionistic gestures so meaningless To discover modernism is already dead So we construct something post-esque I wrote the rules A priori and true I expose it to the world I promise I’ll stop soon Inherent value of a non existent To justify ourselves in a space so dark Tis a construction of a mind so frail To exist only for the sake of its parts Because I exist I cannot just think I must bring something that brings rapture To people’s hearts, minds and souls Of what I am not sure… I want every single significant part of me To be something I’m proud of And right now it’s everything I ever wanted to be That makes me scared of Everything I’d ever hoped not to happen Jumping me like some sort of All encompassing philosophy Reminding me of everything I can’t fucking say You ready for some rock n roll baby? This kinda sound drives me crazy I’m turning on my brain for just one second Cause every single thing we do makes me worry And so the smallest crack in you The negligence of my sight Is to split my heart in two And so I beg of you please reply
3.
(i) Dive (ii) Swim (iii) Choke (iv) Resurface 03:35
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4.
I Reach Out To The Sky 03:43
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Hey I’ve watching you from across the room Seeing how you grow and prosper How I’ve grown to love you I imagine magma eating my body Such a burning sensation could only be caused by love I latch on to death as it drives so near to me but I come back to my senses, or perhaps from cowardly fears Creation of an imaginary hole, Should I be ashamed Fire is a motif that seems so inviting But it is dampened by things so natural And heightened to a degree so out of control By fits of passion and catalysts unfortunate Gerund am I, words cannot describe my state of mind Numbers are obsolete compared to my objects Simply the thought can lead to a misunderstanding Behind its motive and problems in the self I wake The dark ahead of me seems less bright The light seems so inviting and so safe There is no more torment or sadness just a mind Of scientific progress Creation of an imaginary hole, Should I be ashamed For the remnants feel so real A new reference frame Oh in the back in my mind near an exit That keeps filling up with waste Whenever I try to put it in its place The sky opens up and an abomination appears Consisting of all human interpretations of evil When I think of it I flail involuntarily For the redness is so frightening I constructed blue to retain my humanity The morning is slow but sure The beast draws ever near Who could possibly believe these tales of absurdity Nothing matters Everything remains
5.
28 02:31
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You can't kill me if I'm already in purgatory I am the fire golem raging in your territory Love is a triple edged sword, two in my direction Though nothing's quite as sad as the temporary Angels so beautiful with a strange understanding Of being I cannot comprehend But these axioms they’ve chosen are so strange to me How could I ever reach the same end Gabriel’s horn is my spear So much to cover with black, so little inside No one takes me seriously, so why should I? I crush my heart and I bide my time Philosophy's a virus that just chews at your soul Looking inward is the weak man's way to feel whole All it brings up is hypothetical feelings and real guilt Just one last straw to make a bottomless hole The demons are replaced with you, strong unlike my visions, Hardened by heart and my lies Eternal damnation and fucking loneliness You know, I never take this side of me seriously The grass scrapes against my mind The endless blossoming inside Where hell spawns roam with rage so blind Leaving I, ever so uptight One day I’m afraid, the energy might change Into something I can’t just contemplate But an uncontrollable entity so incomprehensible It puts it horror to my head, god it’s late Oh, just let it go She says, she says
6.
Synthesizer 0/2 07:28
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I'm Robespierre, you're my princess, you're all my princesses I'm a lover, few exceptions, sometimes it gets into a mess I'm everything, but I need something, to fill me up inside I'm anything, you want me to be, it means enough to stay alive Please love me, graciously, don't hurt me, just kill me Hang on to me, please use me, I don't care at all, I don't care at all Inside my head, I am all dead, my lovers put me in the whole A new Hitler, a dictator, and wait for you to cleanse my soul There's a million times, I've been alive, fantasies twisted in bed Each one contains, the same yet another, and they are what keep me dead Please care for me, please nurture me, as I do everyone I'm not as heartless, as I seem to be, I'm loving like the sun Open up my wounds, stick your face in, and leave your imprint Paint over my holes, and stain yourself, it'll help us both a bit Please hold my hand, don't be afraid, we're so alive, we have today Don't worry about the ends, learn from your mistakes, dive into the present, that’s all it takes My brain is on fire, there's nothing left, just me on this bed I fly through the mire, fuck up everything I see, the self-pity I dread I wish I could talk, in manners that could communicate the confusion I feel I know it's all my fault, how meaningless I am, but traversing it means so much to me I lose everything I had, in hallucinations black, my self control is all gone A shell of meaningless emotions to the world, locked in with energy of the sun Rip off my face, tear off my ears, my connection to this earth turns to stone Flail around in fear, await the end, as I truly am all alone I'm leaving you, I'm leaving you, you never loved me, you never loved me I'm all alone, I'm all alone, come back to me, come back to me Pretend you're there, pretend you're there, so I can be happy, so I can be happy Put your nails in me, put your nails in me, I'm always happy, I'm always happy
7.
I Gnaw At My Human Limitations 03:02
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8.
496 03:24
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1) I make another story This one a little weirder than the last Instead of looking inward I try to tear it out Parts of the story I have built A little out of order For in this new strange place I’m in I am not over here A light near the beginning of the tunnel that withers out by the middle Creates a vicious cycle, infinite loop Extract the flowers from pure will Why is a war so destructive without the other side’s care All they need to do is move away Invertebrateic yet trying to stand up Impossible to keep solid at all 2) There is so much more to us than this There is much more to us than such earthly things I am nothing without without hands from the sky Gold statue turns everything I touch into shit One ping of consciousness, one fault in the ground Breaks the atoms of my mind, misled into caves Of silly energy unused till the most improper of times Of whom unsure of how to be saved Angel flying up above all else Guiding the rest away from my bed I wonder if my memory will be worth more Than my presence in this world Oh the goddesses, they’re as beautiful as satan One day I’ll be dead enough to stop praying to myself Ridiculous poetry drips into an endless vat of me I’m a parolee dangerously close to leaving this strange hotel I just want you to be happy, as happy as can be
9.
Ellipsis 05:28
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Focus, please, for one second I need you to remember one thing With regards to all these things you’ve heard here Nothing’s as bad as it seems, for me Well I I just need some time With you Cushion the fall with endless love 6 times I wander to you 28 days I feel better again but 496 thoughts accrue Just tell me baby Do you feel the same way Not just about me About anything I rest my head We are not alone I know not of logistics Just ends and my home Free and shapeless Reason seems gone We are not bad people at heart We just gotta keep on Don’t believe in your heaven Don’t believe in your hell We are not born sinners don’t you see Just humans in cells Let us extend our mind Let us conquer our woes Let us move past this world That puts on such a strange show 6 28 496

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released August 13, 2013

Everything - Erik Fredriksen

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Half Face Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

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